Are you struggling with your ASD child’s difficult behaviour? If you’re like most of the Moms I work with, you have no idea where to begin!
I want you to know that his is not your fault, especially considering no one’s given you the support you need. I’m sure your patience is wearing thin, and that you’re exhausted — and you’d love to have top-notch guidance and support from a professional who “gets it.”
I’ve been exactly where you are. When I was in your shoes, I read everything I could get my hands on and had my son in all kinds of programs, but nothing seemed to help. I was dangerously close to crashing myself. I was so tired of feeling like a bad Mom… like no one understood what I was going through.
The problem is that while services focus on your child you as a parent are more-or-less left out of the equation to figure things out without a plan, without support, and it’s isolating.
I know you love your child, but you’re probably feeling like you’ve “had enough,” or you wouldn’t be reading this right now.
Many years ago I found a parent-based program that helped ME learn to take back my power. This approach combines positive parenting skills along with the newest research in autism and brain development. It helped me turn things around. I’ve been working with families affected by autism since 2006, with fantastic results.
Here’s why you still struggle with behaviour
(even if your child has had behaviour therapy)
You may be struggling with behaviour even after your child has been in therapy. You may be feeling like it’s your fault…
What you don’t know you don’t know – 3 reasons you’re having a hard time with behaviour – even after therapy!
- Your child is so tense throughout the day, and trying so hard to keep it together that when he gets home, he’s like a beachball being released from under the water – what happens – BEHAVIOUR! We don’t realize how much work it is for our kids to stay regulated throughout the day after being in environments that are busy, noisy, active and overstimulating.
- Home is safe haven where they can release whatever they need to – and often it’s not pleasant. At home your child feels safe to let’er rip with you. You are your child’s safe haven. While this really is a compliment, in the moment it doesn’t feel that way to us. While they can keep it together in most environments (and don’t want to be seen melting down) they are most “themselves” when in the safety of home and immediate family.
- Critical: Together, you and your child have developed unhealthy patterns of behaviour that will need to shift. It’s not possible to separate your child’s behaviour from your relationship. For instance, you wouldn’t send your spouse off to behaviour therapy to fix what you don’t like about your relationship (even though it would be awesome if you could!). So why would we expect this from our children? You’re in a relationship with him! Our kids know how to push our buttons — and we have our own triggers too! It takes time to shift these patterns, so don’t expect behaviour therapy to “undo” these challenges!
You MUST learn how to manage behavioural challenges! Little problems will become bigger problems, just as your little one will become a bigger person before you know it! Bridging the gap begins with you understanding “what the behaviour is communicating,” rather than “he is bad – or doing something bad.”
I am on a mission to help ASD Moms like you to get your power back. It’s time for you to get back in the driver’s seat. I want you to understand autism from a developmental perspective in a way that helps you understand WHY you’re in the situation you’re in, and WHAT you can do about it.
Has anyone taken the time to explain that:
- Your child’s development has been impacted as a result of his/her autism?
- That THIS is the reason your child is so anxious and controlling?
- That THIS is why your child seems to act less mature then their actual age?
- That THIS is why you’re having such a hard time parenting your child?
- That YOU have the ability to to turn things around and have an impact on his/her development?
As Moms, we’ve become used to people telling us that our child needs therapy, which may be true but in the long run this is YOUR child! You are the one who’s responsible for your child’s future. You are the one that’s in the trenches day after day. And you need to learn to manage difficult behaviour. It is doable!!
I want to help you understand what YOU can do to:
- Reduce the frequency/duration of meltdowns
- Learn how to manage challenging behaviour with the support of someone who’s been there and helped
- Reduce stress in your home, so you can feel more relaxed
- Help your child’s development
When I learned to understand why my child’s behaviour was so difficult, it changed everything. Finally I could make sense of what was happening, and that it wasn’t MY fault! Woohoo!
I learned the skills to cultivate a more positive and loving relationship with my son. I was able to communicate on a new level that made parenting more effective and eliminated nagging. I no longer felt incompetent and helpless.It felt so good. You can too.
Autism doesn’t have to be a life sentence, for you and your child. You deserve to have a life too!
Yes, it IS going to take work, but your child is SOOO worth it and so are you!. (Oh, and by the way, I’m going to help you look after YOU as well.)
Let’s do this together!
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